Friendship

Proverbs 17:17 - A friend loves at all times; And a brother is born for adversity.

Courtesy of Bill Cain ~ Proverbs Devotional

Words of the Verse:
"All times" could be "every time."


Analysis of the Verse
Being Compared
• A friend
• A brother

Their Descriptions Respectively
• Loves at all times
• Is born for difficulty

Teaching of the Verse:

Here are two definitions, one for friend and one for brother. We need to know what each of them means, for there are those who call themselves friends who are not, and those who are brothers who prove unworthy of the name. Therefore, our proverb tells us what a true friend and a true brother are.

A friend truly defined is one who "loves at all times. His love is not occasional. His love does not alternate with hate. Now his love may waver at times, and it may give way to anger at others, but its nature is such that WHOM is his friend is someone his soul has come to love.

Consider some of the alternatives to Friend. Most often, a relationship that seems to be friendship is actually something else. As often as not, it is Mutually Enjoyed Company. Two people find that they enjoy each other's company, so they become 'friends'. Oftentimes they become true friends, inseparable
by most any trial; but more often, Mutually Enjoyed Company discovers forks in their joint road which mere enjoyment will not reconcile. They may always enjoy one another, but they have no basis for a permanent kind of soul bonding.

Another variation of friendship is Mutually Beneficial Company. Two people find that each has something to offer that the other values. Again, such a relationship can turn into true, inseparable friendship; but as often as not, there is no actual soul bonding, no permanent love that binds them.

Another alternative to true friendship is Mutually Dependent Company. In this, two insecure people take refuge in one another. Usually, one or the other of them will not have a strong enough soul to sustain true love; but sometimes, two partial people who know and accept their own and each others' weaknesses become fast friends in a most unusual and inspiring way.

The ingredient missing in any relationship short of friendship is love. Love bonds two friends together.

Now consider this: it really only takes one loving person to be a friend. If one person truly loves another at all times, the recipient of that love need not return it for the lover to be his friend.

In that case, Jesus was the loneliest lover in the world's history when He was on earth. He had a love toward His own which even the best of them appreciated little.  Even the women and John who forsook Him the least in His hour of trial still forsook Him. They did not understand His mission, nor did they reciprocate the love of it. They showed themselves, as all men do, unworthy of the truest love. Fortunately for us and them, the love God has as our friend does not depend upon our return of it. He loved us unilaterally
and unconditionally, when we actually rejected Him. The great thing about God's love, though, is that whom He loves He makes into a friend:

Rom 5:5 And hope does not make us ashamed. because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts through the Holy Spirit given to us.

Hence, Christians, by definition, should be the truest friends on earth. We should be able to be friends to all men, because we have a supply .of love from the Infinite.

The second part of the proverb says that "a brother is born for adversity". This is intended to portray a step beyond friendship. Brotherhood is an even deeper bond than friendship. There is a love from growing up together that binds siblings together uncannily.

Ironically, on this count, the connections among men are revealed at their truest level. Jesus defined it thus:

Mar 3:32 - 35 And the crowd sat about Him, and they said to Him, Behold, Your mother and Your brothers are outside seeking for You. And He answered them, saying, Who is My mother, or My brothers? And He looked around on those who sat about Him, and said. Behold My mother and My brothers! For whoever does the will of God.the same is My brother and My sister and My mother.

Jesus defined brotherhood on the spiritual level. His earthly brothers did not have God as their Father at the time. Those who were receiving His message, though, did. Until after His' death, Jesus' earthly brothers were not there for Him. So the ultimate definition of Brother must be kept in mind for this proverb.

Of course, a Christian should be the truest brother just as he should be the truest friend. A Christian honors his parents by faithfulness in family relations. In terms of the bond between souls, though, many an earthly brother makes it impossible for a Christian sibling to be brotherly towards him. The Christian must simply do his best.

The question for us today is this: are we bound in soul with those connected to Christ, our brothers? For John, this was a sufficient proof of the reality of our own relationship with God:

1 John 3: 14 We know that we have passed from death to life, because we love the brothers. He who does not love his brother abides in death.

A brother is born for adversity.  Are you fulfilling your birthright for brothers in need?