A Letter To My Future Wife

This is an excellent exhortation to male and female saints, as we battle the selfish flesh...may it be a blessing to each of you.

Courtesy of Reformed For His Glory

Over the last year, I have been diligently reading and listening to sermons in an attempt to get ready for marriage. I thought that it might be beneficial to the body of Christ (especially to young single men), if they could see what is on my mind, and in my heart (not because I am an expert of any kind, but because I have been diligently reading other godly men, and diving into the word, in order to find out how I could be a godly and loving husband). Mainly this letter IS for my future wife, and for myself (to serve me as a reminder), but I invite you to read, and reconsider whether our expectations are egocentric or Christ-centered.

Dear, Love

I've decided to write you a letter- now that we aren't married- to let you know of the things I expect from myself to give to you. These things will serve as a reminder to me, as I await the day where we will become one.

The Things I Expect From Myself To Give To You

Notice that I said- "The Things I Expect From MYSELF To Give To YOU". Too often in marriage, and unfortunately in Christian marriages, there is this self-fish focus on behalf of both spouses, where they enter into marriage attempting to find someone who will fulfill all their self-fish needs- this does not glorify our Lord. The husband's love for his wife should "not seek it's own self-interest". Instead, it should seek the interest of the other (which leads to my first point).

• I expect from myself to seek your self-interest above my own.

Marriage is the union of two imperfect people coming together. With that being said- I don't expect you to fulfill all my "needs" (not that you are incapable of supplying me my needs, but I understand that you WILL fail me at times, and sometimes my "needs" aren't really needs). Rather, instead of focusing on your failures, I will focus on improving on mine. I will focus on loving you in spite of your shortcomings. Your self interest will be my duty. Not only in the "big" things, but also in the most minute of details, in all that is important to you.

• I expect to provide for you financially. 

It is the duty of every man to provide for his wife and family. And a Christian man that does not, "has denied the faith, and is worse than an unbeliever" (1st Timothy 5:8). At the same time, we must remember that even if we have financial burdens, it is not the end of the world. For we do not live for this world. We must always find our joy in the risen savior. In the riches that are in Him. On the other hand, this does not mean that I am not currently working on preparing myself financially for our future. I am doing just that, and with the Lord's providence, we will be just fine. 

• I expect to give my life for you as our Savior gave His for the Church

I believe this entails all of life. I will not only seek to please your material needs, but your spiritual ones as well. Further, I ought to seek your happiness when you are sad, I ought to seek your healing when you are hurt, I ought to seek to provide in all that you need. Even in those things that might seem minuscule to me, if they bother you, I ought to find a solution. My life will be given for yours.

John Gill expresses it more eloquently

Husbands, love your wives,.... Which consists in a strong and cordial affection for them; in a real delight and pleasure in them; in showing respect, and doing honour to them; in seeking their contentment, satisfaction, and pleasure; in a quiet, constant, and comfortable dwelling with them; in providing all things necessary for them; in protecting them from all injuries and abuses; in concealing their faults, and covering their infirmities; in entertaining the best opinion of their persons and actions; and in endeavouring to promote their spiritual good and welfare: this love ought to be hearty and sincere, and not feigned and selfish; it should be shown in private, as well as in public: it should be chaste and single, constant and perpetual; it should exceed that which is bore to neighbours, or even to parents, and should be equal to that a man bears to himself; though not so as to hinder, and break in upon love to God and Christ: many are the reasons why husbands should love their wives; they are given to be helps unto them; they are companions of them; they are wives of covenant; they are their own wives, yea, their own bodies, their own flesh, nay, as themselves; they are their image and their glory; and especially the example of Christ, in his love to his church and people, should engage to it:

I love you, awretchsaved

Temptation Quote

No man is the less loved by God, because he is tempted. Those whom God loves best--are usually tempted most. Witness David, Job, Joshua, Peter, Paul, yes, Christ Himself--who, as He was beloved above all others, so he was tempted above all others!

God had but one Son without corruption--but He had none without temptation!

Those who were once glorious on earth, and are now triumphing in heaven--have been severely tempted and assaulted by Satan. It is as natural and common for the choicest saints to be tempted--as it is for the sun to shine, the bird to fly, the fire to burn. The eagle complains not of her wings, nor the peacock of her train of feathers, nor the nightingale of her voice--because these are natural to them. No more should saints complain of their temptations, because they are natural to them.

"Our whole life is nothing but a temptation!"

The best men have been the worst tempted!

Temptations which are resisted and bewailed, will never hurt you, nor harm you.

Distasteful temptations seldom or never prevail. So long as the soul distastes them and the will remains firmly averse against them--they can do no hurt. So long as the language of the soul is, 'Get behind me, Satan!' the soul is safe.

It is not Satan tempting--but my assenting; it is not his enticing--but my yielding; which undoes me!

Temptations may be troubles to my mind--but they are not sins upon my soul--while I am in arms against them. If your heart trembles and your flesh quakes when Satan tempts--your condition is safe enough. If Satan's temptations are your greatest afflictions--his temptations shall never conquer you nor harm you!

~ Thomas Brooks

Hireling

The article which got me thinking about this topic-->HERE.

Hireling...the word is used 9 times in 8 verses (OT and NT).

First OT usage:

Job 7:1 - Is there not an appointed time to man upon earth? are not his days also like the days of an hireling?

H7916 - From H7936; a man at wages by the day or year: - hired (man, servant), hireling.

• H7936 - The second form by permutation and used in Ezr_4:5; a primitive root (apparently akin (by prosthesis) to H3739 through the idea of temporary purchase; compare H7937); to hire: - earn wages, hire (out self), reward, X surely.

Same word usage in Job 7:2, 14:6; Isaiah 16:14, 21:16; and Malachi 3:5.

Found 17 times in 17 verses - also translated as hired servant (Exodus 12:45, 22:15; Leviticus 19:13, 22:10, 25:6; 25:40, 50, 53; Deuteronomy 15:18, 24:14) hired men (Jeremiah 46:21)

NT:

John 10:12 But he that is an hireling, and not the shepherd, whose own the sheep are not, seeth the wolf coming, and leaveth the sheep, and fleeth: and the wolf catcheth them, and scattereth the sheep.

G3411 - From G3409; a wage worker (good or bad): - hired servant, hireling.

• From G3408; to let out for wages, that is, (middle voice) to hire: - hire.
• G3408 - Apparently a primary word; pay for service (literally or figuratively), good or bad: - hire, reward, wages.

Same word usage in John 10:13 - The hireling fleeth, because he is an hireling, and careth not for the sheep.

Also translated as hired servant in Mark 1:20 - And straightway he called them: and they left their father Zebedee in the ship with the hired servants, and went after him.

We are not to be distressed at this news, for we were warned that the hearts of many would turn away.

Matthew 24:12 And because iniquity shall abound, the love of many shall wax cold.

One of the most chilling statements from the 'pastor' who 'came out' was this:

“Hardly anyone reads the Bible,” said Mike Aus of  the non-denominational Theopholis Church on Up with Chris Hayes. “If they did, the whole thing would be in trouble.”

That should be a clarion call to those who are true disciples...Study to show thyself approved, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed.

If we do not spend time in the Word of God, how can we expect to be like the Bereans (Acts 17:11)?

These were more noble than those in Thessalonica, in that they received the word with all readiness of mind, and searched the scriptures daily, whether those things were so.